Friction can be a drag

In the interests of free speech…just make it interesting

Buses and push bikes came straight from Satan’s bottom

with 7 comments

I think it was prophet Clarkson that once said ‘pavements are for poor people’, but even if he didn’t, he’s still right. Just like roads are for cars and motorbikes, not bikes (bicycles) and buses. Admit it. When was the last time a bus let you out, or in? When was the last time a bike rider pulled up in right front of you at a set of lights wearing a stupid hat and a pale blue Peter Storm cagoule only to take for ever to pull away once the lights turned green? And how many times do they not give a fuck and ride through red lights anyway? And when was the last time you were stuck behind a big bus, or an even bigger bendy bus (nice one Ken) that has supposedly “pulled in” to a bus stop to collect some more passengers? Thank you… Our roads are simply too narrow to let them, so we have no choice but to stick behind them until they can pull away (because of so much on-coming bus-related traffic). And then they “pull in” again every 200 yards and bring all traffic to a complete stand still. That’s buses. Utter crap. Get them off the road, rip up all of the speed humps while you’re at it, get rid of all the speed cameras too (apart from outside schools and hospitals of course) – and embrace the (petrol) internal combustion engine. Stop this madness investing in these ridiculously large, red, unpleasant, diesel-spewing un-environmentally friendly nightmares.

And what about push bikes and their riders? Possibly even worse than buses. Definitely just as bad. They rarely stop at minor traffic lights or pedestrian crossings, frequently nearly smash into poor, unsuspecting pedestrians as they hurtle along pavements – and – always get in the way whether you’re in a car or on a motorbike. I don’t care if you’re wearing day-glow clothing and have a beard, get out of my fucking way you tosser and get a life.

And as for mountain bikes and their riders – worst of the bloody lot. They defecate on the highway code, laugh in the face of public opinion (well prophet Clarkson’s and mine anyway), jump just about every red light in London (apart from when they stop right in front of you of course – see above), love pavements as much as bus lanes and are all wanna-be motorbike couriers. Get an engine then.

And finally, if you like knobbly tyres so much, then fuck off and find a forest to ride in! You are not wanted or welcome on London (or other provincial England) roads. Toot toot. Peep peep. And goodnight.


Written by sanchezdemarcos

October 31, 2006 at 11:27 pm

Posted in rants

7 Responses

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  1. u forgot wheelchairs


    November 1, 2006 at 4:24 pm

  2. Weren’t the roads built for lorries?
    I bet you hate them as much as buses, cyclists etc?
    What are you doing in the fucking cyclists box anyway?? Its for cyclists!! Get out of my box!
    You should spend your time worrying more about how long you’ve got left…I hear motorcycling is quite dangerous…lots of deaths and injuries.
    Good luck!


    November 1, 2006 at 5:42 pm

  3. Whenever I designed a city in simcity I only used railways that went everywhere. I say keep cars for intra city transport and special tourist events, requiring a permit… and have only public transport… but get rid of those shit buses that do plague london like red locusts. They suck.

    Frankly, walkers should learn some respect too… someone provide me with a private helicoptor please


    November 1, 2006 at 5:42 pm

  4. Simplythelegend – youre right, wheelchairs are fucking annoying.


    November 1, 2006 at 5:47 pm

  5. I think this guy is a car driver on a motorcycle. Motorcylists are very developed individuals who enjoy the roads for speeds and thrills. As all enlightened motorcyclists know, city riding is about cummuting, something overlooked by car drivers and our dear poster here. A real motorcyclist will realise that road position is an important safety technique allowing you to minimise risk. Car drivers turn left with little or no regard for cyclists and therefore one tries to get as much distance as possible.
    Red lights are the impossible temptation and anyone on a push bike would know what I mean here.
    So next time you get on your high horse, remember we’re just trying to go about our business and stay alive. If you want to race, go on the track!


    November 1, 2006 at 10:37 pm

  6. In India they have a very good and simple rule for the road. Your right of way is determined by the size of your vehicle. Therefore, a truck will rule , and can pull out without even really having to worry about anybody else on the road except other trucks which may be bigger. If you are a cyclist, you literally are at the bottom of the hirearchy, so it is your responsibility to get out of the way of other larger vehicles. If you are at a traffic light at the front of a queue of traffic, then you should get out the way or die, because the truck waiting behind you will not wait for you to pick up speed. It will run you over!
    but bear in mind that over 100 people are killed on the road in india every day.


    November 8, 2006 at 12:06 pm

  7. India is backward…nuff said


    November 10, 2006 at 7:51 pm

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